HIV Positive People Need Love Too
Jerry Swain


When Diane was diagnosed as being HIV Positive in 1998, she thought her life was over.  She was humiliated, and ashamed that her friends, family and employer would discover her secret.  Diane, 36, had a long term relationship with a man who did not tell her he was bi-sexual, or that he was caring the virus that causes AIDS.   Thankfully today, due to the advent of life saving drugs, she has remained healthy and continues to work full time as a local attorney.  Due to Diane’s HIV diagnosis, she no longer dates and lives alone with her secret. “It’s just too difficult to explain my situation to a non-HIV person.”  I get asked out all the time, but I always end up making excuses why I can’t see that person.  I miss being able to date who I’d like.  But the social stigma, and the thought of transmitting this deadly disease to somebody else is unacceptable to me so I have decided to remain celibate and refrain from having any sort of relationship with a non-positive man. In the past, I have confided my diagnosis to friends, only to lose them due to their misunderstanding or ignorance of the disease. For Diane, living with HIV has turned into more of a lonely social death, rather than the physical death she had expected.

Diane is just one of the thousands HIV positive members of HIVnet.com, one of the largest online Internet dating websites devoted exclusively to those diagnosed as being HIV positive.  An estimated 850,000--950,000 persons in the United States are living with human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), including 180,000--280,000 who do not know they are infected.

HIVnet.com was founded in 2000 by an HIV positive male in response to the growing demand for a quality dating website for HIV’ers.   There are a number of websites for other sexually transmitted diseases, but only a handful of websites just for those of us living with HIV says the founder of HIVnet.com. Some of the HIV positive websites were adult oriented, or just sexual hookup sites.   HIVnet.com caters to straight, gay, female and male members diagnosed as being HIV positive.  Our only requirement for membership is that you are over 18, and diagnosed as being HIV positive.  We founded HIVnet.com on the premise that there were thousands of other straight and gay individuals living with HIV who were seeking quality relationships with other quality HIV positive persons.  Many “non-pozzies”  still relate to the myth that HIV is strictly a gay disease after all these years.  The degree of our membership covers all areas of society.  Different religions, Female, male, doctors, attorneys, housewives, salespeople, grandmothers, grandfathers, white and blue collar workers, all ranging in age from 18 to 80.    HIV does not discriminate and HIV affects all aspects of daily life.

HIVnet.com provides a social outlet for HIV positive individuals to meet other HIV friends.  Living with HIV is very personal thing; it affects all areas of your life, physically and mentally.  Many HIV positive people, straight, gay, female and male have turned to the Internet in hopes of finding love. Standard dating websites cannot provide the support or understanding from others that our members receive from each other.   Many of our members have made good friends, in their own city or across the nation.   Some members are on the website looking for love, others for friends, while others are just for support and understanding from friends going thru the same thing.  HIVnet.com is “HIV owned and operated” so we understand the need for privacy our members require.  Every profile is carefully reviewed and approved before we allow it online for others to view.  Most of our members feel comfortable posting their profile and picture in hopes of finding their HIV match.

Being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS used to be a death sentence. Today, adherence to  life saving drugs, better known as the AIDS cocktail, many HIV’ers are living full rewarding lives.  Having HIV is still a “life sentence but many people continue to be in good health and live full and prosperous lives.  While the virus will eventually kill you,   things have changed dramatically in recent years.   Years ago, just getting the diagnosis was the end of the line.  Many HIV’ers would just give up. 

Diane says, “One of the greatest things about joining a website like HIVnet.com is the understanding from others.  You aren’t questioned, shunned or intimidated. It’s a great way to find companionship without being judged.    Everybody on HIVnet.com is dealing with the same issues I that I deal with daily.  The other members understand, more than anybody how I feel physically and emotionally and what I deal with every hour of my life.  I no longer feel like a social outcast. HIVnet.com says they are “Exclusively for those of us LIVING! with HIV.”  They’re right.  Most of us are living with, not dieing from HIV.   Being a member of a website like this, sort of feels like being a member of a big exclusive club.